For by Grace

Stack ‘Em High!

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:15:06 GMT

I’m sitting here with a huge headache. I’ve taken 4 Tylenol (and I usually don’t take anything) and have had a bunch of water to drink and it’s not helping so I’m just going to try and power though and blog anyway. At least it’s not stomach issues again…

Today we had a pretty good morning visit with Noah. It was raining so we just stayed inside. The nannies gave us a hat and coat anyway though. I’m not sure if they thought that we might want to go outside later or if they thought he would need his coat upstairs. It was so warm that I just took it right off of him. They also put a huge bib on him and gave me one for wipe ups because he was spitting up the tea that they had just given him (from a bottle that they told me he wasn’t on – GRRR!)

Noah had lots of fun knocking down the tower of cups we would make for him. He scoots himself very close to the tower and tries not to knock it down with his legs. He then starts tapping both sides of the tower simultaneously until it falls. He LOVES this game and he gets the biggest smile on his face with and squints his eyes in the cutest fashion.

He also crawled off the rug and looked down into the hallway. It must have been pure bliss thinking about crawling all the way down there by himself. I wish I could have just let him but I didn’t know if the nannies would get upset if they found out so we just kept him on the rug (yes Liz, this must have been where you played because there is now a rug there but there wasn’t when we played there before).

We also brought some more diapers to the orphanage. Last time I brought diapers they told me size 3 but now they are saying size 4 which is what I brought the first time. I think 4s would fit Noah better but I think maybe they need the diapers for the other children in his group and really it’s the least I can do.

We also went to the main market in Simferopol about noon. It is simply huge! There are people selling just about everything. We even ran into a part where they were selling animals. They had all these mice in one little tiny cage. They also had the most odd looking turtle I’ve ever seen. It had kind of a pointed head and a soft shell (we could see the shell move in the water). We ended up buying some tights for the girls. I am hoping that the ones we bought for Elisha fit because it’s hard to find tights for her size in the states and they were a good price so we may buy more.

True Love

Sat, 25 Jun 2011 04:46:10 GMT

The last few days we’ve had the pleasure to visit with Liz Kulp, her wonderful son, Shea, and her parents, Steve and Kathy Button. It’s been great to get to know them a little bit more and just to sit down and have a conversation without trying to explain what you mean or get past the cultural difference. There’s just something comforting about being able to be with somebody who understands.

So it was with mixed emotion last night that we went to our evening visit and found them to have disappeared. It’s so wonderful for them to have been able to get Shea out of the orphanage and let him begin experiencing a very full life with many opportunities he never would have had if he had been forced to grow up here. I am thrilled to think of Shea waking up next to his Mama this morning and then riding in one of his beloved machinas (cars) and I would really like to see the look on his face when that airplane takes off! On the other hand it really stinks to be still here trying to trudge though all of this by ourselves.

Yesterday morning Noah was in fine form. Let’s just say I am not looking forward to the airplane ride. He has decided he only likes one toy that we brought, he’s tired of all the other ones. The one toy he likes is a set of stacking cups and he loves to separate them, try to stack them on top of one another or figure out which ones nest together. He also enjoys tapping the cups on things to make a sound. I am just afraid that he’s going to wear out the joy of the cups and then what are we going to do on the plane but arch the back, try to bite himself or others and scream. Yeah, I see a shopping trip for some new toys in our near future.

The evening visit we had was with the sweet Noah. The Noah who makes you remember why you wanted to do this. He was cuddly, he didn’t scream, he laughed so hard that he could hardly hold his head up when Daddy tickled him. He enjoyed being carried around and didn’t mind when I tried some new shoes on him (that fit!). He was just plain wonderful :)

Mike and I have been talking about how the visits we have mimic what God must feel about us. He must feel so happy when we choose to do the right things. When we obey and our attitudes are nice. But the reality is that we are not always nice, we throw our fits, arch our backs and kick and scream when things don’t go our way. We think we know better than our Father. But God, in His great mercy, loves us anyway. He chooses us! He chooses to love us not walk away when times are tough. He keeps his commitment us. I’m so glad he’s our Father! That’s true love!

Americans and shoes

Wed, 22 Jun 2011 06:00:48 GMT

So backing up to Father’s Day we had gone down to the market. Mike only had shoes that tied and he wanted something easy to slip off and on. We had looked a little bit but didn’t find anything that was cheap (that being the most important thing in looking for in these shoes) and that Mike liked and fit. We saw a little shop with some shoes that we had looked at before. Mike glanced over again and saw something he liked. We were able to communicate enough to find the right size and 90 hyrvnia (a little more than $10) we had a pair of sandles for Mike.

While Mike was doing his shoe buying I was looking at some shoes for Noah. I had brought a pair of the R*beez knock offs from T*rget but they proved to be too big. Now while I wasn’t totally convinced that he needed a pair of shoes to get by I thought it might look better (and help keep his socks on) if he had some. I had studied the shoes that he was wearing in the orphanage and took notes on which ones were close to fitting and their size. So when I saw a fairly decent pair of shoes I asked Mike about them. We used finger numbers to tell the lady what size we would need and she went to find them. Although they were in a box and the bottoms were clean the inside looked like they had been a little worn. I still thought that maybe we should buy them, after all, they would newer than any of the shoes that Noah had worn in his life and they would belong just to him. 100 hryvnia later (about $12) Noah had a pair of real shoes.

So yesterday when we went for our morning visit I put the shoes into my bag. After taking a picture of the outfit the nannies had put him in I took off the orphanage shoes and held up the new ones to his feet. They looked just right, I was thrilled. I thought that we would just put them on for the visit and then take them off when it was over. Now I’ve put a lot of shoes on children, both mine and other people’s children but this wasn’t working out quite like any of the shoes I had put on before. Noah was very patient and waited for me to put his shoe on but it just wasn’t going on. Mike looked at me with a funny face wondering why I couldn’t get the shoe on. I couldn’t explain the problem kept trying and invited him over to see what he could do. We sat there trying to get Noah’s feet in the shoes without any luck. He wasn’t curling he toes or making it difficult for us in any way, he was actually sitting though this with more patience than most children. Finally we decided that his feet were just too fat for the shoes. So he’s still shoeless and I’m not really sure that we can find wide width shoes here so he might head home without shoes.

Yesterday afternoon we were walking around for our visit and headed over to the swings for a change of pace. I noticed a man sitting on a bench reading but didn’t pay very close attention to him. There often seems to be people who don’t really belong at the orphanage there making use of their benches or cutting though on their way someplace. We went over and plopped Noah on the swing and chatted a bit between ourselves and then a lady walked up to us and said we sounded like Americans. It’s a good thing we sound like Americans since we are :) It turns out that she and the gentleman on the bench were there with their daughter picking up their grandson Shea. It was so nice to have a conversation in English! They are sweet people who really love children. Unfortunately, the visit was cut short by our facilitator calling and saying we had 30 minutes to be across town (that’s another post).

Ukrainian Culture 101

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 03:28:35 GMT

I wanted to give those of you who haven’t been here a little taste some of the things we love and some of the things we…well, we don’t love about being here in Ukraine. It’s so different than the US and even though some things are similar to Germany it’s not as much as would have made me comfortable.

If you plan on coming here do yourself a favor and learn some Russian phrases because, trust me, nobody here speaks English.
Riding the bus can be like being packed into a Sardine can and is capable of smelling similar too.
The rules of the road aren’t really rules, they are more like suggestions. If you don’t like them, don’t follow them and make up your own ideas about how fast you should drive and where. (This comes after we were chased down the sidewalk by a vehicle)
Don’t drink the milk!
There are fewer preservatives in all of their foods so just count on it not lasting as long as you think it should.
The market is lots of fun but allow yourself plenty of time to find the few items you need.
Go with the flow. Don’t get weirded out by all the “American” rules we have such as, “You should wear gloves when you are cutting our meat up at the market and you also shouldn’t be taking my money with the very same hand you just used to touch my meat.”
Slips? What are those and what are they used for? I’m asking because I’m sure this is what a Ukrainian woman would think. Trust me, they don’t have slips under their dresses here, it’s very apparent!
Be adventurous with your food, there’s nothing here that seems too scary and you can actually find things you didn’t imagine you’d like.
When you get on the bus you don’t have to pay as you walk on. You are free to go sit down and then pass up your money via all the people in front of you. If you need change they will pass it back.
Personal space is not a concept that is understood here. You get in line and push your way to the front.
Animals. They seem to have animals around but not really pets. Don’t touch the animals because they probably have something you can’t pronounce.
Just keep walking if two preschool girls in their underwear walk down the street with an adult as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Be prepared for the bank to tell you they don’t have enough money to change your $100 into hryvnia.
You can buy most medicines without a prescription and at a fraction of the cost of what you’d pay in the US.
You won’t have to wait long for your bus because they come by very frequently.

This is the picture of the “mini bus” or marshrutka that is so popular here.

Children Of God

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 17:23:24 GMT

I’ve seen this video a number of times and cry every time I watch it. It’s so meaningful but even more so since we are in the process of adopting Noah. God is a God of adoption, it was His idea and it’s such a beautiful picture of the way He loves His children. Be blessed as you watch :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6jO7xhU_Pw

Groundhog Day

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 17:54:34 GMT

More...

Visiting

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 04:18:43 GMT

The past few days have been a little more busy that I had imagined. It’s nothing crazy but I thought that we would have a lot of free time. I thought that we would have hours to sit and do…well, I don’t really know what I thought we would do but it hasn’t been like that. I thought there would be periods of time where we just sat and stared at each other in pure boredom. But the reality is that walking to and from the orphanage takes time. Visiting with Noah takes time. Finding things we need at the market takes time (though I do imagine as we figure out where things are this will take less time).

We have settled into a nice little routine. We get up in the morning and Skype with the children back home. Then we have breakfast and get dressed. We have a Bible study, do the dishes, tidy up our three room (not three bedrooms) paradise, and then Mike and I either check e-mail or post pictures on FB while Elisha does a bit of school work. Then it’s off to the orphanage. We visit Noah for two hours and then stop by the market if we need something. We walk back home, have lunch, do the dishes and then Mike takes his nap and sometimes I take one too. We read a little or Elisha and I work on a craft project and then it’s time to go back to the orphanage. Two more hours to visit with Noah and then walk back home. We get home about 6:30, make dinner, do the dishes and maybe Skype with the children again. By that time Elisha and I are ready for bed. Mike takes another 20 minute nap and then does work for Crista until 3 am. Wash, rise, repeat :)

The nice thing about the whole routine is that we walk about 5 miles a day. We walk about a mile to and from the orphanage twice a day so that’s four miles and then we spend at least another mile carrying Noah around the orphanage grounds. That’s a lot for this pretty average American, car happy, couple. We are sure to loose some of that weight that we’ve put on these last few years and even if we don’t we’ll be in better shape when we leave than when we arrived.

Noah is doing well. He’s a really snuggly little guy, which neither Mike nor I mind one bit. For the most part he is content but he does kind of yell when he’s frustrated or unhappy. Yesterday afternoon he wasn’t in the best mood. I don’t know him well enough to know if he is coming down with something (his chest is a bit rattley) or if he’s just testing the waters. I sat down with him to play with the pegs I brought. He didn’t want any part of being on my lap and just wanted to crawl around on the floor (we were inside because of the rain) It’s hard to know what to do in that situation because he’s arching his back and making a terrible noise so do you put him down and let him get his way with him being quiet and not bringing the nannies out to check on him or do you decide that this isn’t going to be good in the long term and he needs to understand that there are some boundaries and there will be periods of time (like the horrifically long plane ride home) that he just has to sit someplace even if he doesn’t like it. I’m still not sure I know what the answer is.

This adoption is not a bed of roses and I never thought it would be. We’ll just keep plugging along and doing the next right thing. We love Noah and we are committed to him. We’ll work though this and it’ll make us cherish the sweet cuddly time even more :)

A friendly reminder

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 02:09:52 GMT

Just a friendly reminder (or maybe not so friendly) that the words and pictures on this blog are protected under copywrite law. No person or persons may use anything here for their own personal or business use. This includes people who think they should have access to pictures of my children for their own purposes. If I thought you should have a picture of any of my children I would have sent one to you. We are willing to seek prosecution under copywrite law if needed. (And yes, I realize that this doesn’t apply to most of my readers but there are a couple of people I know are violating this and they are the ones I am writing this for.)

Finally

Sun, 12 Jun 2011 01:26:05 GMT

After months of anticipation the moment finally arrived for us to meet Noah. I had dreamed about it over and over in my head but it didn't go the way I planned at all. In my head we would be sitting in the director's office and they would be telling me about him and when we were done or maybe while we were still talking they would bring him in. Instead we were ushered onto the back porch of the orphanage with the social worker and the legal secretary for the orphanage stood with us. Two nannies brought Noah out and because it was close to nap time they said we could only have just a minute with him. The nanny (I think she's actually the speech therapist) held him while I talked to him and rubbed his back. She finally offered him to me. He didn't rush into my arms but did put out his hands and came willingly though still with a bit of hesitation.

He is so much bigger than I had anticipated! He felt heavy as I held him which was a relief after seeing the pictures of Carrington Burman, the last little girl to be adopted out of his orphanage. He snuggled in just fine and let me rub his back. Mike didn't have a chance to hold him because they took him back after only about two minutes. It defiantly wasn't long enough with our little man.

After some paperwork on the part of the orphanage's legal secretary we received a visiting pass for the remainder of our time here. Our facilitator said that he asked if they would please be prompt in getting our paperwork ready for Tuesday but I guess it remains to be seen if that will happen or not. He did over hear her talking about dragging it out for 10 days and he confronted the orphanage director about it. I think that they finally agreed on Tuesday but maybe Wednesday.

We are praying for an early court date!

In the afternoon we went back to the orphanage about 4 for our first real visit. They brought him out in tights, shorts and two long sleeved shirts, oh, and of course the obligatory hat. The outer shirt was turquoise with a picture of a little girl with a hat on that was covered in flowers. Not exactly what I had pictured for my son.

We brought out a few of the toys and quickly learned that he really loves to throw the toys on the ground. He has the cutest little laugh when Mike tickles him :) His chubby little fingers are really strong and he grunts when he is frustrated or isn't getting his way.

I was worried about 20 minutes into our 2 hour visit. There is really nothing to do and with Noah just throwing the toys we gave him it didn't look too good. You can't put the children down on the ground because of cultural issues (they think the children will get sick if they are on the ground) and their playground equipment is almost archaic. Noah doesn't walk independently so all of this posed a problem.

He really likes to walk if somebody will hold him up. He walks along and then finds something to step on or kick around with his foot, it's super cute :) He also likes to just be walked around and he looked like he had always belonged with Mike as his Papa toted him around the orphanage grounds.

We noticed that he has had some trauma to his tongue though it doesn't look to be very recent. I don't know if it's from being in the institution or if he would just bite his tongue anyway but it seems like that is what has happened. Other than that he looked pretty good from what we could tell.

I am so glad to just have our little man in my arms. Thank you to everyone who has helped to bring him home!

Today's the day :)

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 05:31:00 GMT

More...