I was reading blogs this morning and happened upon this gem.  Sarah Mae shares what is in my heart but I have a hard time articulating.  Her website name, A Warm Cup of Coffee, makes you want to grab yours and sit down for a good read.  Enjoy!

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20

After I posted this video, an interesting discussion took place.  I wanted to follow-up that post with my thoughts on youth ministry and why our family is opting out of it.

I’d like to first qualify everything I’m going to say by saying this: God’s purposes prevail and he can and will use whatever means he deems necessary to fulfill his plans.  I acknowledge up front that there are those who have been involved in youth ministry that have benefited or even been strengthened in their faith.  I also acknowledge that people have come to know the Lord through their involvement in youth ministry.

Why Our Family is Opting Out of Youth Ministry

The reason our family is opting out of youth ministry/children’s Sunday school is because we believe it is our responsibility to disciple our children in the Lord, train them in wisdom, worship with them, create strong family bonds, and encourage the joy in spending time with different age groups (as opposed to  age-segregated groups that you find in youth ministry).

We want to walk alongside our children, being their confidants and their teachers, seeking their hearts and teaching them to seek the heart of the Father.

We want to worship with them in the sanctuary on Sunday mornings – what a joy to have them by our side during the gathering of the church!  What a delight to hear them ask questions about what the pastor preached on, and to then hear their father answer their questions!

We want to enjoy the fellowship of families together, learning from one another and mingling with different age groups – there is so much we can learn from the older generations if we are all together!

We want to have our children integrate well into regular church service (many who have gone through the youth ministry “system” find themselves lost or out of place once they graduate from youth ministry – they don’t know where they fit).

We want to encourage wisdom relationships for our children in many age groups.

We want to be wise in who we allow to influence our children.

We want to encourage biblical ministry and we do not see a basis for age-segregated youth ministry in the bible (I think we are so used to youth ministry that we get defensive about taking another look at it from a biblical standpoint. Sometimes it is easier to default to what is the “norm” rather than challenging our presuppositions).

We want to see the church free of the burden of having to disciple the youth (in so much as many youth ministers feel the parents are expecting them to train their children in the Lord).

We want to honor our God, and my husband and I at this point in our faith journey are convicted to teach and train our children outside of youth ministry.

Questions I know you will ask:  ;)

Don’t you think it is good for children to fellowship with believers their own age?

Not necessarily.  We love the idea of having our children around different age groups, making friends with all ages, and enjoying the fellowship and wisdom that comes from interacting with multiple like-minded families.  I’ve seen (and experienced) much foolishness when we group children together into age-segregated groups.

Don’t you want your children to have friends their age?

Sure!  We also want them to develop friendships with multiple age groups – especially those older and wiser!  :)

Don’t you think it is good to have Christian children/teens in youth groups so they can be a witness/light, etc. to unbelievers coming to youth group?

I think the best witness we can give to unbelievers is to invite them into our homes and our fellowship times so they get a whole picture of the goodness of Christ.

…

There you have it – why we’re opting out of youth ministry! I know that many of you will choose differently for your family, but this is what are family has been led to do.  If you’re not sure where you stand, search the scriptures and ask God for wisdom.  I also included some recommended resources for those of you who want to look into youth ministry.

“The curtain must be pulled back if we are to keep young people involved in the church and if we are to renew our congregations we first must acknowledge that many of our current forms of youth ministry are destructive.”  -Mark Yaconelli, co-director of the YouthMinistry and Spirituality Project (pro-youth ministry)

“Youth ministry needs a revolution. It needs to be overthrown, retooled and reborn. The majority of what passes as youth ministry is organized babysitting: songs, games, a short devo and pizza afterward…yippee!” Greg Stier, Revolutionizing Youth Ministry (pro-youth ministry)

The Facts (taken from Revolutionizing Youth Ministry)

• According to Dr. Gary Railsback up to 50% of evangelical college freshman will forsake their Christian beliefs by their senior year of college.
• According to George Barna:
  • 2 out of 3 Christian teens will evacuate the church after they graduate from high school
  • 63% of our teens don’t believe Jesus is the Son of the one true God
  • 58% believe all faiths teach equally valid truths
  • 51% don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead
  • 70% don’t believe an absolute moral truth exits

Recommended Resources:

Sufficiencey of Scripture (especially the talk, “Youth Ministry” by Voddie Baucham – Wow! My husband and I learned SO much!)

The History of the Sunday School Movement

Scripture References:

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:6,7

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

Psalm 78